Best friends brother. Beat that.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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