I'm jealous of your bromance
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
