She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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