my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
