there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This baby is an asshole
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
