three words: i give head
three words: not that well
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
