her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
