Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
