She is in my trunk
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We had sex on a dog bed..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
