dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
