I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
