I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
