I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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