Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
