please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
