I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
