The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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