awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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