My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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