don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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