whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You are the jesus of drinking
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
