my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
did you just send me my own nude
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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