I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
