Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
smell my finger.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
