i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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