i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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