remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
