What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
