we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
