So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
