can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
