Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
