I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
you never un-have a 4some
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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