your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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