I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
