This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
