wrigley field is MILF paradise
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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