fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
