i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize