That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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