what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
