is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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