i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
