i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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