But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
