I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
