Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
