can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
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