YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
