You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
