Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
