Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i now understand why vodka
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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