in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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