the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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