i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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