WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I fill condoms, not promises.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
