I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
