I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
