I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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