Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
