Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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