I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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